In this short period of time, I've gained so much insight toward life as a whole, that no amount of textbooks can actually enlighten me to that extend. It always helps to see things in a bigger picture, learning not to coop myself up in this little boundary and perimeter I've always set for myself. I figured that I do not want to be an average girl you can find anywhere on the streets. I want to do something great, and not just attaining good grades, getting into a good junior college, studying more and getting into a good university, study again, and then settle down with a stable career and a happy family. Most of us, if we have the determination and correct attitude, can do it. And I'd be missing out so much on life.
Albeit studying is good for us, (you are nothing if you do not have a degree in today's world) , I really wonder if we should slog our lives out studying some things that don't even contribute to our careers next time. No, I'm not saying that we should burn our books, but we should study smart. Do something we like. Sit down and really ponder about what we want in life and go for it, by all means.
I'm not trying to find an easy way out or a platform to escape should I not meet any expectations. I will do my best in everything nonetheless, and continue putting up a good fight till the end. However, I'm learning not to be too consumed by failures and underperformances. If you are my friend, you know how I tend to blow things out of proportion when it comes to academics, or anything I'm good at.
By mid jan next year, my life plan will be roughly established. Either a good Junior College, or none at all. My God will provide, and I know He'd see me through anything- good or bad. I am safe, because He will take care of me, my house and my family. Whatever it is, I know if I continue walking with God, in His principles and values, I will be the best I can be. ¶ 10:48 PM 0 Comments
Ever since the first day you came into our class, you already very diligently picked out those whom you thought were the better fews, and throughout this whole year, you never failed to favour them much more than the others, giving the rest zero chance to even improve or perform under your guidance. It wasn't as if I didn't had the desire to really want to do well, but ask yourself, how much trust have you placed in me? You never once gave me hope nor words of encouragement, but I do not hold that against you, perhaps it just wasn't you. Yet, even when I did well, your tone was so thickly layered with sarcasm; it was so insulting and discouraging as if the examiner might have been blinded that day while marking my script. Obviously, in your heart, you already deemed me as a weak student, and there was absolutely no room that I could excel. It was alright, I will prove my worth to you one day. But today was the final straw. I am really very displeased with you, and be it the building unhappiness since the beginning of the year, or simply just today, I have utter contempt for you. Relationship is a 2 way street, and without even showing me that you first believed that I can do it, how are you going to help me? Even when I did it, you were just skeptical and stubborn(if I may put it that way) to recognise the efforts I have put in. By doing so, you've taken away any last hope of respect or trust I have in you, too. If you're not interested in helping me, I am not interested in seeking you, either.
¶ 7:27 PM 0 Comments
Got me quite depressedz and morose for the whole week/weekend, so I'm sorry to anyone I snapped at, which in my absolutely biased opinion I doubt I ever did. Sometimes things do get beyond my observations though...Other than results, there were other boggling issues in my mind which I can't seemed to solve during this period. Thank you wey for your unwavering support through this time, and hooray to us :D I am officially washing my hands off prom prom prom prom prom stuff! It was quite exasperating at times, especially through vulnerable periods like prior of prelims and after prelims.. but there were very understanding and compromising people I've met too for instance Bengan, and I really appreciate your kind gesture in any attempt to make things easier for us. 
2 people specifically who were there to provide anything I needed. 
¶ 9:04 PM 0 Comments
Wenjia's: 5th September
Leeying's: 13th/15th September
Weekends passed really quick, with saturday being a really busy day just rushing here and there. Last minute stay over at wenjia's house to bake leeying her oreo cheesecake was totally amazing. Decided to bake some muffins too and they do smell heavenly! I've decided to put my oven to good use, but I'm still trying to overcome the phobia of being scalded. Simply put, I'm just afraid of heat waves, you know, totally. Let me side track a little, I actually burned my poor finger trying to light up leeying's birthday candle in 5 seconds. That's how bad affinity I have with fire. So yeah, after taekwondo wen jia and I went over to leeying's house and camp over till she reached home at around 10pm. Shan't go into further details..
Leeying's surprise part2; waited to leeying to go home and we(mingryamond &wenjia) lighted her name on the basketball court. Pictures soon.........
I'm pretty screwed up right now. On the night of prelims closure, I'm grounded because I spent 3 consecutive nights out after midnight. There are just some things adults can't understand and explaining to them just brings about 2 unhappy parties. It's exasperating at times when you try to be patient but it goes unreciprocated, but well, at least I tried. Big papa doesn't seemed very pleased with me, I hope my results can appease them for a while. Such a tiring day, goood night.
¶ 5:23 PM 0 Comments
